Friday, October 2, 2009

What I'm Looking For Eludes Me

Like a lot of you, I love music. It's not that I'm musical really. I mean, most of the time I have to search for the lyrics to understand half of what's being sung. I just spent 10 minutes trying to think of a funny mis-heard-music example, but my memory fails me at the moment. I do recall of one of my brother Ray's mis-hearings.

When we were little kids he insisted John Denver's song was "Country Rose". I told him it was Country Roads, but he insisted to the point of singing the song to a saleswoman at Topps Department Store who had told him they had no record entitled "Country Rose". He sang nice and loud. It was great! (I get this funny feeling that my brother is going to remember some things for me now).

Recently in a John Eldredge book and then from my husband Dave, it was brought to my attention that U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" tells the Redemption story. Interesting. I had listened to that song many times in college in less-than-holy scenes (which I now understand is most of life's scenes but that's for another day). All I remembered was "still haven't found what I'm looking for". No surprise.

I googled the lyrics and printed them (not for redistribution or sale in case you're worried). Two pages.

The other day I was reading them again, as I pondered how the relentless search for full satisfaction in life eludes me.

As I turned to the second page of lyrics the only line there on the blank sheet was "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For". Emptiness.

I laughed at the irony of that. But it really got me thinking on how even though I have eternal hope and a living faith in a living God, that I still don't have what I'm looking for.

Oh I get lots of glimpses of what that fullness will be someday, but only peeks through the cracks of life. Lots of things give me hope that things are going to be OK. There's the love of my family and friends, my next accomplishment, a completed project, a significant milestone, or point of growth.

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

In the meantime, I'll take more of my brother singing at the top of his lungs in the store and making me laugh.

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